A Weathered And Broken Band

Today, at church, my family and I got to watch as two of our church family members renewed their wedding vows during our church service. Today also happens to be their fortieth wedding anniversary. Do you know anyone who has been married over thirty years? If you are married but haven’t been married at least that long can you imagine being with your spouse for that amount of time or longer? That’s a whole lifetime to spend with one person. In today’s society, that is a huge accomplishment and is almost unheard of.

As our pastor held up one of their wedding bands, and talked a little about what it symbolized, I fell deep in thought about my own relationship with my husband and what our wedding bands symbolize for me. Originally, we picked out the set of rings together. The set came with an engagement ring and gold nugget wedding band for me and a gold nugget band for my husband. There is a distinct pattern of crosses that were designed into the rings. This was a very unique set and perfect for us.

In our culture, the wedding band signifies that a person is married and in a loving and committed relationship. Committed to each other through sickness and health, in good times and bad times, till death do us part. Most of us know that marriage, anymore, does not last till “death do us part”.

I looked over at my husband’s hand and as I expected his finger was bare. Then I looked down at mine and ran my finger over the wedding band that I had on. I turned my hand over to and ran my fingers around the base of my ring and stopped at the broken piece of gold still attached to my wedding band

My husband bent his wedding ring early on in our marriage. At the time, he worked in hydraulics and was always getting it caught on stuff which eventually just bent it all out of shape. So, for years, he didn’t wear a ring. Two years ago, we decided to get him a titanium ring which would be a little stronger. We bought it a little big and about six months ago, he lost it at work. My wedding band has broken several times throughout our nineteen year marriage. I have had it fixed two times already and have decided that I may just get a new one at our twentieth anniversary.

As I said earlier, today at church, I looked down at my ring and thought about our nineteen years. My ring has really weathered over the years as has our relationship. When we first started out we always said we will be together sixty years. Now, almost twenty years into it, there are days when we are lucky to make one more. In the beginning it seems so easy to think that you will always be together but over time you realize that marriage is work. As I looked at the couple at the alter and how lovingly they gazed at each other, I was in awe that after forty years they could still do that.

There are days when I look at my husband and think to myself how lucky I am. He is very caring, loving and thoughtful. He is so good to me and wonderful to our children. He works hard and wants to provide for our family. He can cook, clean and do laundry and is great at fixing things. We have the same interests and similar personalities. There are so many things about him that make me proud.He is also stubborn, irrational, irritating, takes jokes way to far, sometimes acts childish, sloppy and sarcastic. He is loud and sometimes doesn’t think before he does or says something. He likes action movies, I like romance. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, I love mediterranian and Tex-mex food. I love fish. He hates it. These few differences make it hard to go places because we never seem to agree.

Over the years, as we grow more comfortable with each other, we don’t hold back and we have had some pretty big arguments. Usually, over the normal stuff like kids, money, bills, in-law and so on. There are days when he doesn’t even have to say a word to tick me off. All he has to do is look at me. In the beginning we would hardly cuss at each other much less bring up the “D” word. Now the cuss words come easily and there times when the “D” word has been brought up. We are over that initial fear of losing each other and now we fight to have our own ways.

As you read this you’re probably thinking there is no hope for us. Maybe we are a lost cause, who knows? I like to think that we are a work in progress. God’s work in progress. He brought us together and He gives us the tools to stay together. Our faith in God, family and each other is what has kept us together all these years and it’s what will continue to keep us together as well as grow closer. He is not only my husband he is my best friend. I have gone through this life with him and I can think of no other person that I want to ride this wave with. He keeps me grounded and always feeling loved no matter what I do.

As I look at that weathered, broken band around my finger, I realize that my ring, the way it looks now, really signifies what we’ve been through and has served it’s purpose well. We have weathered sickness and health and we have weathered good times and bad times.

I will love him till the day I die. So who knows, next year for our twentieth anniversary maybe I will just get my ring fixed instead of replacing it. The ring I wear today has a story all it’s own. My Story.